Sleep and the Lack of

The past month has been a restless one.  I’ve witnessed a gradual change in my sleep cycle, with the hour I wake growing earlier throughout the weeks.  It’s not that I’m going to sleep at an appropriate time either.  I may have reached the point of reconfiguring my circadian alert system.  I fell asleep last night at about 02:00, so I was surprised to rise at 06:00 this morning without fatigue.  You’d think I’d find sleep earlier since I’m waking up at such times, but I predict I’ll stay up even later.

In 2022, I was consulted by a sleep expert, provided by Veteran Affairs.  Our main goal was to figure out how much sleep I was used to at the time, improve my sleep schedule, log the hours from the new sleep schedule, and determine if it worked or not.  That consultation lasted roughly a month and during that time I learned a better approach to sleep, though it also gave me a deeper understanding of how my mental health impacts my rest.  I didn’t focus on being punctual to proper REM sleep before my consultation.  When I began to, it seemed simple.  Sleep was my focus, so in a way it became my new work and I progressed.

I had a little more time then, as I set aside my music pursuits to be a credible San Francisco Photographer.  I excelled in completing my homework on time.  I studied regularly and didn’t have many obligations.  Thinking back, it was a unique moment dedicated to leisurely experiences.  And now I notice a distinct difference between two eras sharing two important human processes: Work and Sleep.  Imbalance may not be the preferred form of life lived, but one could argue such way takes passion, especially if work ethic outweighs the latter.

I’m super tired writing this, but it isn’t the result of balance that makes this effort.  Healthy sleep may be the measure of a person’s well-being, but could the lack of good sleep be a measure of a person’s will?  Balance has never seemed so uninteresting until now.

Love,

Raph